I Got 99 Problems, But a Chip Ain't One

Even though I hate the new Justin Timberlake/Jay-Z song, I'll still give Jay-Z props in my blog. Because well, he's pretty cool and snubbed Kim Kardashian at an awards show.

Just google it. It made me giggle.

Anyways. I started a new job over the summer and one thing immediately caught my attention.

The women I work with have fantastic manicures ALL THE TIME. Their nails look shiny and perfect every day.

I am no stranger to manicures. While my unmarried domestic partner thinks I got them on a weekly basis, I would often get a manicure every couple of weeks. Despite having hands that resemble catchers mitts, I do have nice nails. Manicures lift my spirit and make my hands presentable, so I allowed myself the bimonthly indulgence.

The problem I had is that my nails would chip within the first couple of days, if not sooner. Even if I was super careful walking the 2 blocks from the nail salon to my house, I would usually end up chipping a nail while opening my front door. I drink about 75 cups of coffee a day, so I couldn't exactly fix the polish myself without painting my arm. I would scold myself silently for ruining my manicure and hope that nobody else would notice my flawed nails.

So how in the world did these women have such amazing looking nails, when I could barely make a manicure last 48 hours?

No-chip manicures.

I'd heard of the no-chip manicure - I'm a Groupon user and they seem to have a no-chip deal every week. But I thought it was similar to putting on acrylic nails, which I did when I was a teenager. Tanning, bleaching my hair and wearing acrylic nails are mistakes I wish I'd avoided in my teens. Thinking that the no-chip would destroy my nails like acrylics, I said no to no-chip.*

But after talking to a few co-workers, I decided to give it a shot. I went to my normal nail salon shortly before Christmas to try it out. My biggest fear was outgrowth, as my nails grow quite fast. My technician assured me that wouldn't be an issue. I chose a purple polish (this was one of the few "fun" colors, as the no-chip polish selection selection is limited) and got started on my life changing manicure.

The no-chip application is simple. The technician will apply a base coat, two polish coats and a top coat. After each coat application, you put your hands under a UV light, allowing the polish to set and dry. The application takes longer than your typical manicure, but when your manicure is finished, your nails are totally dry. Totally. Dry. They are also super shiny, which lasts forever...or until you remove the manicure.

But.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to certain things - including my nails. I immediately noticed some flaws upon coming home. On some nails, the polish didn't come all the way down to the base of the nail, so it already looked like there was some outgrowth. The polish application on some nails was quite thick, which looked odd to me. Lastly, some polish was on my skin. That does NOT come off with soap and water. My unmarried domestic partner poked fun at my observations, but no-chips are not cheap. For $45, I expect a really fantastic manicure - especially if it's supposed to last 2+ weeks.

I planned to leave it on for a couple of weeks, but ended up having to leave it on for 3. You see, I got 6 stitches on New Year's Day after I jammed my thumb into the blade of a mandolin. To remove a no-chip, you have to go to a salon. They use an acetone remover to take the no-chip off of your nails, and I did not want any chemicals getting on my cut!

My polish did not chip, so it did live up to its promise. But I did research in those 3 weeks and found a salon that was a little more affordable and had fantastic ratings for its no-chip manicure.

I went to Nas Salon (3757 N. Racine) on Wednesday and I am in LOVE. I cannot stop looking at my hands and have been waving them in Tom's face every day. I think he's hoping I'll stop but I NEVER WILL.**

Nas offers 40-50 polish colors for no-chip, and I chose a sparkly red for my nails. It. Is. Fabulous. My technician used new tools to do my manicure and was quick and thorough. She checked my nails after applying each coat to make sure that everything looked even and to ensure that no polish ended up on my skin. The best part? There was no extra charge to remove my old manicure. Some salons will charge you $10 for this, which I think is insane if you're getting another manicure done.

I am officially a no-chip addict. I love that I can beat up on my nails (I apparently type like I'm punching the keyboard) and they still look good. It's a total splurge, but it makes me feel extra fabulous knowing that my nails are shiny and flawless.

If you want to try it, do your research. Some salons do try and cut corners, particularly in the removal process, and that is how you can damage your nails. Hit up Yelp and find your nail salon match - and show me your pretty manicure! I need polish ideas!

*Just like Johnny Dakota said nope to dope on Saved by the Bell (and then smoked pot) and Brandon Tartikoff made an appearance on the show and claimed to be best friends with Mr. Belding. Tartikoff was way too cool for Mr. B.

**I am lucky that Tom is such a saint and supports my love of manicures and Rob Lowe.

Photo: My no-chip manicure 5 days in. The color reminds me of Dorothy's slippers in The Wizard of Oz. I was clearly going for something understated.

2013: Embracing the Casual

I decided to end 2012 by doing the unthinkable.

I. Bought. Pants. Made. Of. Denim. On. Purpose.

Not only did I buy jeans, I bought skinny jeans AND jeggings.

If you know me, then you know this purchase goes against everything I stand for. I am almost always in a dress and can no longer keep track of how many I own. I shop online when I'm stressed.* I'm pretty sure that my picture is framed in the corporate office of 6pm.com. Only recently did I hop on the leggings bandwagon, and that is because I feel that they are sweatpants that I can wear in public.

My explanation for my strong hatred of pants is simple - I don't find them to be comfortable. I carry my weight in my midsection and butt, so trying to button anything across my tummy is annoying to me. Even if pants are loose, I still find the button to be irritating. Perhaps it's my free spirit not wanting to be restricted?**

Truthfully, dresses are easy - and I'm lazy. Wearing pants means that I need to pick out an appropriate top, and when I'm struggling to get out of bed, the last thing I want to do is ask myself if my shirt is safe for work. Wearing a dress from the Lauren Cooney Business Fabulous Collection is quick and simple.

So what made me buy jeans?

Brandi Glanville.

You see, I have a number of vices. While dresses are my main vice, stilettos, prosecco and the Bravo network are tied for second. There are few things that bring me as much joy as a Real Housewives marathon and a glass of prosecco.

I was watching an episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills a few weeks ago. The ladies were gathering for lunch at Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant, each looking like they walked straight off the set of Dynasty. Look, I love dresses and glamour as much as anyone, but sequined dresses are not appropriate for a weekday lunch.

Enter Brandi. Wearing a simple white button-down shirt, skinny jeans and straight hair, Brandi looked stunning. She was fabulous and casual at the same time - she had achieved the impossible.

"I could be casual," I thought. "I can wear jeans and tops just like Brandi."

But then that little voice of doubt spoke up...

"She's a 6' tall model. You're 5'8" and just polished off a bag of chips."

I finished my glass of prosecco, told my voice of doubt to shut it, and went on The Limited's website.

My sister, Allie, introduced me to The Limited last year when I needed some new suits. I hate buying suits, but they're a necessary evil for my job. Color me surprised when I found that The Limited makes suits that are both cute and comfortable - and affordable! Their pants fit me well, and I decided to give their denim a shot.

I ordered their coated jean leggings, which are black jeggings with a little bit of sparkle. My size varies between two numbers, and I intended to order the larger size, so that the jeggings wouldn't be too tight. I decided to read the reviews before ordering, and I'm glad that I did. Most people advised to order the smaller size if you were between sizes, since the jeggings stretch a bit. I am glad that I did! They are definitely snug on the legs, but they stretch a lot in the waist. They would've been too big if I had ordered the larger size.

I ordered jeans because I wanted something to wear to work on casual Fridays. These are definitely not work appropriate, but perfect for a night out.

I also ordered the 678 5-pocket skinny jeans. These intimidated the hell out of me, as I have never worn skinny jeans. I tried these on and immediately loved them. They are so comfortable! They stretch just enough and are work appropriate. Tom, my unmarried domestic partner (or boyfriend, for short) took notice of my new jeans and declared himself a fan.

One of my resolutions for 2013 is to take more risks. I suppose it's time to take my first risk - the risk of being casual.

*On the day I resigned from my last job, I bought 7 dresses. That was not my finest moment. I returned 2 of them.
**Said the uptight girl with the Type A personality. Free spirit my ass.